Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Happy Anniversary, yes, really

(Sorry for the absence.  The weekly "awesome" just hasn't been in the cards, recently.  I will be back, things will be awesome again.  Just have needed a lot of time to deal with a lot of things recently -- the below just being the tip of the iceberg.  Thanks for giving me my much-needed space, dear readers.)

As those of you who follow The Brights' blog at already know, Don and I are enjoying a fabulous anniversary week at Sir Sam's Inn.  And today is our third anniversary.  And we love each other.

Which, if you'd asked us three years ago, would have been a given.  Heck, if you'd asked us even three seasons ago, it would have been a no-brainer.  Three months ago?  We would have said "Hah!  Not bloody well gonna happen."  But it did.  We made it.  We're here.

Life does throw us some mighty big challenges sometimes...

Or, in our case, Life says "Hey, you know what?  I just found this ginormous pile of shit you've been avoiding dealing with for several decades, but I'm trying to clear out some space, so here you go, DO SOMETHING with it."  And then you say "Hell no, there's a reason why I didn't want to deal with all that, I don't want it!"  So then you start flinging it at your wife, who then says "Hell no, that's yours not mine, deal with your own shit!" and flings it right back at you.  And then after you've both been hit squarely in the eye with a lob or two, you both look around and realize that, no matter whose shit it was to begin with, you both have a LOT of cleaning up to do.

I don't write this (solely) to see what the cursing police at Blogger will do with that whole description.  Nor simply as a Public Service Reminder to deal with your shit sometime BEFORE it ends up all over you, your home, and everyone you love (although that would be a REALLY AWESOME Public Service Announcement, just sayin'...)

I am writing this to say that you never know what Life (or love) is going to fling at you next, no matter how good things seem to be going.  But that no matter what Life (or love) does fling at you, you can survive it.  And if you (and whoever else is in the shit-party with you) are willing to put in the work, you can not only survive it, but make it better -- probably better than it was even before you knew it was awful.  Yes, really.  Better.  For Realsies.

No matter how dark (or shitty) things look, it can and will get better.

(Now, as someone for whom it has already not gotten better twice, I feel the need to make a caveat -- it can and will get better if BOTH PARTIES are willing to put in the work.  Which we both are.  Which is why we're here.)

Four months ago (to the day, now that I think about it), I thought I'd lost everything and everyone that mattered most to me (other than Ali, because she's just friggin' invincible).  Three months ago, I didn't see any way through.  Three months ago, nobody could have ever convinced me that we'd be spending our anniversary side by side, holding hands, loving each other and looking forward to the future.  (As in our future TOGETHER, not our future on opposite sides of the planet, armed with army-grade shit-flingers.)

There's still some cleaning up to do, we're still working hard.  There are many things to sort through, many wounds, old and new, that still need a whole lot of healing.  Still some lingering stink.  But we're working together.  Life is good.  We're laughing and having fun and loving each other and loving life and looking forward to many more poop-free anniversaries to come.

Life apparently still had a lesson left for me: you CAN do this.  When the going gets tough, the tough get staying.  :)

So happy anniversary to the man worth staying for.  And to the man who was willing to start working through that old, dark and stinky muck because he thought staying with me was worth it.

First anniversary is paper, third anniversary is, apparently, Lysol...

Ah well, nobody ever promised a life full of rainbows and lollypops.  That's why the traditional wedding vows are "through better or worse".  (Although I'm thinking they might want to rephrase it as "through worse or better", just to keep a light going at the end of the tunnel... just sayin'.)  But it is better.  Much better.  It will be even better.

Happy Anniversary to the Love of My Life.  Thank you for being here.  Thanks for, once again, proving "them" wrong.  I adore you.

(And thanks to our close friends, who have stuck by our side, despite the stink -- we love you all!  But you can't join us this week, no matter how much you beg.  Because... eeew.)