tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post1403050073368532311..comments2014-01-05T21:49:29.797-05:00Comments on Journeys in Lyssy-land: Happy Birthday, Baby NarcissistAlyssa Wrighthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15952824304836072132noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-11148662828719726732012-12-13T18:03:52.097-05:002012-12-13T18:03:52.097-05:00We love you, Captain Obvious! :-)We love you, Captain Obvious! :-)Alyssa Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15952824304836072132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-54993315705231244792012-12-13T10:51:30.277-05:002012-12-13T10:51:30.277-05:00Thank you! I will ravenously check out that blog....Thank you! I will ravenously check out that blog. And yes, empathy is the other thing that Captain Obvious likes to trumpet from the rooftops. A very pretty sight, actually; if you imagine a Currier & Ives picture of a Christmas scene with snow and evergreens, snow angels on the lawn, and an insanely joyful trumpeter on the roof in his parka and his Groucho-Marks-Nose&Glasses. (It would be tedious if he leaped from roof to roof all year round, of course, so we try to maintain our levels of empathy so that the trumpeting will go somewhere else. But he's there to remind us that we have it when we forget that we do. With a blurp and a blast and a reveille to beat the band. And, well, that little bit of comedy always emerges when those without it wonder what we're listening to....) Piriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17625498917313340879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-12999366025785795202012-12-12T20:20:29.195-05:002012-12-12T20:20:29.195-05:00Ooh, interesting research! (Maybe your research a...Ooh, interesting research! (Maybe your research and my research should get together and have a playdate... )<br /><br />I do see that, and on paper / intellectually believe I'm not doomed to be one (in fact, my empathy factor is so far off the radar, it's probably not ever remotely possible, no matter how hard I tried...). It's the sinking in to the fundamental belief-about-self that's the hard part.<br /><br />I'm in the middle of reading "Toxic Parents", and recognizing much in there along those lines too. The truly nutsy, out-of-control and selfish adults are the ones constantly labelling the little kid with the traits they hate in themselves. (Or at least their inner something hates, since their outer something is determined they're perfect!).<br /><br />And yes, I imagine if I just sat back and thought it was all normal, I'd be in danger. But I definitely DO recognize where my toolbox is short, and work hard to learn and change that. Which, as you say, would probably not happen in the person with the personality disorder.<br /><br />You might be interested in another blogger, who writes "The Narcissistic Continuum" -- http://n-continuum.blogspot.com/ She's also in a family full of them, and combines research with personal stories in her writing.<br /><br />I shall remind myself to keep brushing off the residue. :-)<br /><br />Thanks, darlin'!Alyssa Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15952824304836072132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-89633941909917941662012-12-12T15:40:14.532-05:002012-12-12T15:40:14.532-05:00I read this post last year and I keep coming back ...I read this post last year and I keep coming back to it from time to time, the paragraph beginning, "I've come from a long line" and the idea of halting the reproduction of this particular strain of virulence by not having kids. I'm doing a lot of research on personality disorders right now (on three of them, actually -- narcissistic, histrionic, and borderline). It's no surprise that you are terrified of having it too -- I share your fear, and children of narcissists go through this often, I'm learning. The one answer I keep taped to my desk is: "You learn behaviours and you emulate behaviours because they once worked, but as you mature you learn more mature behaviours that work in more mature ways. Someone with a personality disorder cannot evolve like that; they are stuck." So it would seem that residue does not a disorder make! Residue and old habits are evidence of evolution. Residue is brushed off like annoying dandruff after a momentary panic and a change of shirt. So far so good, anyway.........Piriehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17625498917313340879noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-10273270391979987342011-12-01T13:21:54.799-05:002011-12-01T13:21:54.799-05:00Thanks, Louise -- questions are good, keep asking!...Thanks, Louise -- questions are good, keep asking! :-)Alyssa Wrighthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15952824304836072132noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1920610378763399622.post-83217376497823789652011-12-01T10:31:46.214-05:002011-12-01T10:31:46.214-05:00Happy a day late birthday. I thought it was the da...Happy a day late birthday. I thought it was the day yesterday but your reference was a bit obtuse for my slow thinking.<br /><br />Happy Day <br /><br />And this post needs digestion. Don't you just hate those people who ask those questions you'd like to avoid. I get a tad ticked off with myself when I don it because I know I can't avoid answering myself. No matter how hard I try. <br /><br />Hugs. You do good work!<br /><br />Hugs to you and Don.Louise Gallagherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13522775693728655487noreply@blogger.com